What I’m Thinking About Tonight

divorced mom musings thoughts thinking 2014 dating jobs working kids children work life balance exercise

Saturday night, 8:58 pm, and I’m ready to fall into bed about 2.5 hours earlier than normal. I hosted a sleepover last night, adding two additional kids to my already full household. Between the late bedtimes for all, the 4am wake up from the sick child guest and the subsequent 4:30am arrival of his mother, and the 5am wake up of my other children, I’ve got less energy in me than the burnt out light bulbs above the dining room table that I keep meaning to replace. Meaning, not enough energy to muster a halfway creative simile for how tired I am.

But, as often happens, my mind is in overdrive, thinking all the thinks even if it’s not feeling all the feels. I’ve been meaning to update in here since my last post and can’t believe a couple of weeks have passed. So I’ll share a few things I’ve been thinking about since then.

I can never resist the temptation to create a list.

1. I’m now at a full time desk job with grown up, exciting things like benefits and vacation days for the first time in, oh, over a decade. After I quit my part time job waiting tables I expected to drop 15 pounds STAT since I’m not nibbling on high-fat/high-carb food at work anymore, but apparently the noshing was nothing in the face of my physical activity. I’ve actually gained about five pounds because I’m no longer either A) on my feet all day earning tips or B) chasing children all day. Geez. I’m going to have to start getting up and doing jumping jacks every hour to counteract the sitting-on-my-rear-for-eight-hours thing. I’m sure that will be enjoyable for the woman who sits near me at work.

2. I love MY children, but other kids can be serious brats (’cause, you know, mine are perfect angels 100% of the time). While speaking to my daughter last night, her friend said, “My house is much bigger because, you know, it’s a REAL house.” Um, excuse me? I wasn’t aware that my home was conjured by my imagination. It may be on the petite side, and no, it’s not a single family home, but it works for me and my children and is in a great location and I’m not living beyond my means. Don’t make my kids feel bad about the place they sleep half of their nights each month. We have a lot of fun here.

3. An appointment with a new colorist can be life-altering. Went to a new salon, made instant friends with my colorist, and my hair looks like it would look if I’d been blessed with natural highlights and hadn’t found my first gray hair the year I graduated from college. I also recently tried eyebrow threading and I’m officially never getting my brows waxed again. Love the threading results.

4. My nose still has just the two holes that have been there since birth. Haven’t ruled out the piercing, and I swear 7/10 women I see out in public have their noses pierced (totally true and scientific percentage) and it makes me covet a little stud each time I see one, but I’m going to sit on the decision a bit longer.

5. An intriguing dating situation has come up. Create theories as you see fit.

6. I love pop music and I won’t apologize for it. Keeping that in mind, there’s a song I newly love.  OneRepublic’s “I Lived”the lyrics really resonate with me, I can’t lie. Divorce is supposed to be such a devastating thing, and the process was completely and utterly awful and I feel the pain in my children’s pain, but for the first time in many years, now that the divorce itself is behind me, I feel like I’m living, really living. I feel more like me than I have in a long, long while. The words in that song make me grateful for every moment I am living. Along that vein, here’s another great song I discovered via a Facebook friend called “Happy” (and no, it’s not the “Happy” you’re thinking about, this one is by C2C). Then there’s Ed Sheeren’s “Sing,” which, honestly, I like just for the way it sounds.

7. I’ve got a bit of an obsession with dresses and skirts going on and I’m dying for it to be warm enough for me to wear them with regularity. Though this doesn’t mesh well with the loss of muscle tone happening as a result of list item numero uno.

8. Why must diet soda be so chemical-y and artificial-sweetener-y and tooth-enamel-stripping? I just cannot quit. Me + Diet Soda 4Ever

9. How is there so much laundry that needs to be washed in the house when I’m the only person who lives in it 15 days of each month?

10. I’ve completely broken up with Candy Crush. Things just weren’t working out between us. The similarities between deleting that app and deleting the phone numbers/texts/contact info of guys I’ve dated in the last year are not lost on me.

Happy Saturday, all!


Thinking cap image used under creative commons license from Caroline.


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8 thoughts on “What I’m Thinking About Tonight

  1. Was reading your follow-up post to the funny post about “I want a nose ring…and “your dilemma “to pierce your nose or not.” Having shared a similar experience, I was worried that my nose stud would cause too much attention and I would be known in my office as “Angie with a nose ring.” So like you, I kept see all those women my age and older with cute shiny noses. I would try to picture myself with one in front of the mirror even putting some glitter glue and various sizes of crystals. I loved how I looked with a nose stud, but I felt the stud was too large.

    In terms of the actual moment that I finally made the leap? I obsessed for a while, joked about it and then I did some research, and one day at my daughter’s soccer practice, I saw the “perfect little, teensy, tiny, shiny, adorable nose stud on one of the soccer moms as she passed by me. At first, I thought it was a glint from her sunglasses, but as soon as practice began, I moved towards her until I was beside her and said, “…I hope youo don’t mind me saying, but that is the smallest and cutest nose stud I’ve ever seen.” She smiled and told me MY life story wanting a nose stud since college, but for various reasons, she waited. On the first anniversary of her divorce being final, she decided to celebrate, took some of the alimony money and bought the cutest little diamond stud online (1.2mm tiny diamond stud). she had her nose pierced with it. She admitted to being self conscious at first. Some didn’t notice it, others in the N-O-S-E admired it and wished they had one. I wanted one just like hers, something discreet but with a sparkle to it. 🙂 She was flattered that I noticed and shared the information with me. I had the solution to my dilemma worrying about too big a nose stud to draw attention and criticism.

    I finally had came to the decision that this was my life, and I didn’t want to regret something like that. It was a way for me to mark the change in my life too with something permanent, physical, and something I had wanted for years. It didn’t hurt very much. I was quite surprised actually. It healed quite quickly.

    Ultimately, here’s the thing: It’s not un-doable. You can take it out in the same way you can take out an earring. But it’s worth trying it out, if you feel like you want to. I had friends and co-workers with nose piercings. I think it’s a lot less out there and a lot more normal to pierce your nose than it ever used to be. Your comment about seeing some many other women with nose studs validates my research too.

    I still love it, and not too big for my teeny nose. I never wanted a ring, just a small stud, but they say that a ring can be easier at first, but I don’t know about that.

    Let me know if you are concerned about the size and will send you a picture of mine. I say go for it and catch that “bull with the nose ring” in your earlier post.


  2. Good to hear the updates! I love what you said about your place . . . that “we have fun here.” There’s love there, comfort, and fun too? What else could matter!? You’re kicking ass.

    Also, I just got a fitbit and I’m newly obsessed with that.

  3. Thanks for responding to my post and nose piercing journey.

    Here was my checklist for getting my nose pierced:

    * I’ve always wanted a nose piercing
    * I’ve envy others with nose studs or rings
    * I think is beautiful and feminine
    * My friends have them and I love how THEY look with nose piercings
    * I’m definitely not to old. I feel young inside and sexy
    * I’ve put some glue on my nose, little crystal. I looked fab with a little sparkle
    * I’ve got GF who will go with me
    * I’ve found a piercer who I trust
    * 24/25 in my social circle think I have a cute nose and would look good w/nose stud
    * It’s my nose and I want it pierced
    * I found the perfect shiny, little nose stud (1.2 mm CZ initially) to test how others feel about mine
    * Having my nose pierced is a sign of grace, self-ownership and “looks cute”
    * I want to look in the mirror 20 times a day admiring my shiny nose stud
    * I really want a diamond nose stud so it shines 24/7 as a beacon of my freedom
    * I’ve already got the side of my nose picked out for the little stud
    X My husband says no
    * Okay, I just need a little reassurance about …..XXX…got it!
    * I’m ready to pick up the phone and my camera …eventually is now 🙂


  4. Pingback: The Revised List of Traits I Find Attractive in a Man | A State of Motion

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