I sometimes play bingo with my friends. Haven’t been for months but it’s a good time, even if I don’t win. And no, I’m not 84. One night I was playing with my seasoned-veteran girlfriends and I commented that I was thisclose to winning. Seriously, that’s exciting, I could have won, like, $68.
“Shhhhh!” my friend hissed. “Never say you’re close to winning, you’ll jinx the card!” Apparently I’d committed some deadly bingo sin.
Sure enough, I didn’t win. Though, to be honest, I rarely won, anyway. Bingo is very hard to focus on when you’re talking to a table full of fun people. I never knew if I didn’t win because I didn’t get the right numbers or because I missed them all.
Anyway, apparently admitting you met a guy you really like is similar to jinxing the bingo card.
I last saw the guy I like last weekend, we had what I thought was a great night, great conversation. He called me Tuesday, again, wonderful to talk to him. Then yesterday, for the first time since I met him, I heard nothing from him all day until he responded to a text I sent later in the evening. Today, not a word. Not even a response to the text I sent him.
I confided in a friend that I fear I’m getting “the fade” and she’s trying to be optimistic about it and tell me I need to back away from the ledge (I DO have a history of some overreactions), but since I just did the same thing to the last man I dated, I feel like I can spot the signs. First I started taking a really long time to respond to his texts. I stopped initiating them entirely. And then after a week or so of that I emailed him to say I thought we should move on. Classic.
Guess it’s my turn to feel that sting. Ahh, this sucks. But no good will come from never taking chances. I could sit at home by myself for the rest of my days and my heart will never hurt, but I’ll also never have the opportunity to meet someone I connect with.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m stupidly overreacting and all is well. But it feels off. Jinxing may not have played a role, but it sure is fun timing.
I’d rather the bandaid just be ripped off, to be honest. No drawn out week of wondering if I’ll ever hear from him again – just call me or email me or (though it’s ridiculous) text me to say it’s over. Don’t leave me hanging. Let me go.
Might be time for that dating break I was planning to take.
Image by Nikkorz used under creative commons license. In case you’re wondering, you can’t just take any image off the internet and claim creative commons use – I search for images that have that specific licensing option via Flickr. Don’t steal images – always ask for permission or make sure it’s spelled out that you can use an image for your blog first!