I agreed to a date with a man (I call him Tiger) I assume is a complete player. Why? Educational purposes, I guess? His texts were heavily flirtatious and numerous leading up to our date, way too complimentary. But I thought, why not? He’s 7 years younger than me, no kids, never married. Doesn’t sound like relationship material, but I thought it could be fun.
We met up at a bar and had a few drinks. He was not nearly as over-the-top in person, which was nice. I don’t think I could have endured a bunch of beautifuls tossed in my direction. Conversation was interesting and not forced, but a few things he said or did left me scratching my head over the course of the night.
1. He kept burping. I finally asked him if he was okay and he said sometimes beer made him burp. Okay, maybe stop drinking beer?
2. He talked about several ex girlfriends. I knew where they were from, what they did for a living, how long they dated, how old they were. At one point he was talking about a woman he clearly had trust issues with. I said, “Did you recently break up with someone?” He laughed and said it had been over a year. I just could not think of a good reason to bring up exes on a date.
3. When we walked from Bar A to Bar B (for music/dancing) a woman approached us on the sidewalk walking her dog. An average sized dog. On a leash. Tiger physically moved me to be on the side closer to the dog as we got closer. He said he was very scared of dogs. I said thanks for putting me nearer to the dog that made you frightened.
4. He asked me if I wanted to have more kids. I think that’s kind of a strange question for a first official date. And then he brought up a few more girlfriends who’d wanted to marry him. Was he trying to make himself sound desirable?
5. At Bar B, where we were dancing, he said a few of his friends were there. We stayed to one side of the bar whereas 99% of the crowd was on the other. I wasn’t sure if he wanted to be able to talk to me better or if he didn’t want all his friends to know he was on a date. Thinking about it later I don’t think I would have wanted MY friends to observe me on a date, either.
None of this prevented me from getting another kiss at the end of the night (he’s cute!), but I’m not sure about him. He’s been texting me since we went out, fairly often, but we haven’t made plans to go out again and I’m not pushing it. If he asks me I may go, but I won’t be upset if it doesn’t happen. I get the feeling he was just curious about going out with an older woman. But I also am not sure I trust my judgment about a man’s intentions, I may be too cynical yet.
Dating. Not sure about it yet. It’s still so strange!
Photo of the very intimidating dog used under creative commons license from matt2739.