First Date – The Good and the Bad

first date after divorce kiss stood up drunk guy

So I had my first post-divorce date recently. It was with Fandango, a guy I met at a club and, against the advice I received from friends, to whom I gave my phone number. He texted me the next day and we made plans for the following Friday night. There was no chit-chat in the week between but he did confirm we were going out a few hours before the meet time, which slightly allayed my fears of being completely stood up.

Thanks to construction, I was 15 minutes late. Fandango called me just as I was parking to make sure I’d arrived. He looked cute and casual and we walked to a bar for a drink, then went mini golfing (hey, it was fun!).

The date ended after two hours at 8; short and sweet. He walked me to the parking garage and he didn’t really say much – no plans for future dates were made and I figured this was kind of a one-time deal. But then he kissed me – more than once – and asked, “Do you want to get together after you’re done with work tomorrow?”

I did, actually. I’d not had lofty hopes for the date going into it but we had a nice time and I thought it would be fun to see him again. The next day I asked if he wanted me to text him after work – just checking to see if it was an actual invitation and not just something he felt like he had to say – and he wrote back yes, definitely.

When my part time job was over I texted him and heard… nothing. An hour went by and I realized no man in his 30s with a smartphone goes that long without checking messages – I’d been stood up, in a way. Oh, the indignity! Okay, I wasn’t terribly disappointed – after all, I’d really only spent two hours with him, it’s not like I was attached. But I was angry that I wasn’t worth the effort it would take to say, “Hey, you know what, I changed my mind, I don’t think we’ll see each other again.”

** Breaking news ** I am not joking, as I finished typing that last line I got a text from Fandango saying he was too drunk from going to a block party to message me back, he thought it would be a bad idea to get together after that. Well, thanks, Buddy!

I’m thinking he’s not the type of guy who should date a divorced woman with four kids. He cute, though. Sigh. Okay, not really sighing over this.

The good: I got my first post-divorce date AND kiss out of the way! And the guy was not old or ugly (which, as a divorced mom to 4, I sometimes fear will be my only options for dating). The night I met him and the night we went out were both fun, despite there being no future dates now.

The bad: Well, being stood up because a guy is allegedly too drunk to reply to your text regarding previously-made plans kind of speaks for itself, doesn’t it?

My disappointment is short-lived, I’m glad I got an answer about the lack of reply, even if it is lame and possibly fake. See, a rejection note really isn’t that hard, guys!

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7 thoughts on “First Date – The Good and the Bad

  1. Every single date post-divorce serves a purpose. Most are PRACTICE. Sounds like this one was the fun kind of practice. And I’m laughing over being too drunk to text you. Hey, at least he was honest (hopefully).

    • Definitely good practice. I intend to look at it all dating experiences as lessons – good or bad. I’m not sure how honest he was (I mean, he didn’t text me until about 20 hours had passed since we were supposed to meet – who gets THAT drunk??) but I told him it was slightly better than not just hearing from him at all. Geez. Thanks for coming to visit my blog, I love yours!

  2. Good for you! I think the good definitely outweigh the bad. Being stood up totally sucks, and being too drunk to text seems like a lame excuse but at least he was honest.

  3. Pingback: Parenting and Non-Parenting Days: Dream Vs. Reality | A State of Motion

  4. Pingback: Lessons About Texting While Dating – Date #2 | A State of Motion

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